Tuesday, January 15, 2013

BiPolar

Sad, Hyped, Talkative, Reserved and Quiet.

You can see me in many or let's say two different moods and personalities. Up til now I am not sure if it is only me, or it is normal?
If you are my facebook friends you probably know my mood swings just like a pendulum (or maybe oranges?). Especially when the light and weather changes. I tend to be so dark and sad and gloomy when it is raining out. While some girls love playing with the rain, I hate rain. I feel sad :( That's why during winter I feel less happy and perhaps nag a lot!

Something that my family knows and only a couple of my friend knows is I can be a different type of person depending on who I talk to. I am naturally very loud and talkative, sometimes I am too explicit too.. to a person that I feel comfortable to talk to, or usually within my age range. I don't know how to describe it, but I guess I live and accustomed to sort of be very or over polite to the older generation or friends or family. I grow up knowing that what parents or grandparents say are ultimate truth although I do not agree I will keep it inside. I am quiet in front of people, have very small voice, and look shy. (My family make fun of this too once they knew it). But with a friends my age, or younger, and usually people that I am comfortable with I can really tease them (wink), be loud, be silly, hyper and all that. I cannot help it too. OK real life example, I am known as being quiet and shy and the office, and my friend Spoo did not know it until one of my friend, Yan mentioned it in the lunch time. I prayed and hoped the day before I started interning so that I can be my real self, but the day of it was difficult for me. I felt obligated to be quiet and just follow what I need to follow. It has gotten slightly better? or maybe worse? Perhaps my family and close friends can tell me. But I feel as of now I'm still stuck with these personalities change.

That is more of a dark (perhaps) side of me. What do you think?

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